The most dense element in the universe has been found.
A major research institution, that insists on anonymity, has
announced the discovery of the most dense element yet known to
science. The new element has been named Pelosium in honor of its
famous, or notorious, exemplar due to its instability.
Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
and 223 assistant deputy neutrons, and has an atomic mass of 311.
The particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
The symbol of Pelosium is PU.
Pelosium's mass increases over time, as morons randomly interact
with elements in the atmosphere to become assistant deputy neutrons
within the Pelosium nucleus, yielding the formation of several
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads scientists to believe
that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach critical voting mass
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